Does reading book after book ever make you feel accomplished? That’s how I feel, ha! I just finished It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell from the blog Can You Stay for Dinner?. Plus, I put like 4 books on hold at the library, so I’ll get to start another new book this weekend. I’m on a roll!
You know a book is good when it draws you in from the start. Andie starts off the book by describing how she ate her entire homemade birthday cake all by herself. Well, almost all—one slice remained. I reallllly love cake, but boy, just the thought makes my stomach churn. But, at the end of the day, this is what it means to be addicted to food. Or well, I tend to think of it as emotional eating…you know, trying to eat away your feelings to help numb the pain.
But, it’s not about the food. Not at all—it’s much, much deeper.
For Andie, it was about growing up with an alcoholic father. A mother that worked several jobs just to make ends meet. And a brother that was several years older and never really at home. These things left her lonely and empty…and food helped fill that void. She didn’t realize until years later that she ate the way she did because food was the one thing in her life that she could control.
I don’t know about you, but I find it interesting that so much in life is about control. I don’t know anyone that would willingly give up control of anything in their life. So it makes sense that when everything else feels out of control, naturally you turn to the one thing you feel you can control. For Andie, it was food. But of course there’s a downside to that—continuously gaining weight…she weighed nearly 300 pounds by the time she was 20 years old.
In this book, Andie describes her weight loss journey, but really this book is about so much more than food, dieting, losing weight…it’s about learning to love yourself. And, let me tell you, to read about such a transformation is truly inspiring. You’ll enjoy this book immensely, no doubt about it!
Now for a few good quotes:
I knew no other way than eating to alleviate the loneliness, to fill the spaces where comfort and security could have been. Food poured over the millions of cracks in the foundation of my family… (Page 4)
I see the tragedy in living an all-or-nothing existence, in teetering on top of that skyscraper and feeling forced to choose between standing paralyzed in fear or hurling myself over the edge in ecstasy. (Page 6)
I hated him for making me that angry. For teaching me that people listen when you yell louder; that you not only can cut them with your words, but you can pour hatred in their open wounds…I hated that in trying to protect us all from the bully, to knock him down, I’d become one. (Page 31)
Can you do it today? Can you make it through today without bingeing? Just today, and tomorrow we’ll reconsider? (Page 119)
I recognized that when I felt better physically, I was more motivated to eat well. (Page 141)
Eating there was different from anything I’d ever experienced. The portions were smaller, and the plates, too…there was a meaningful nature to eating. It was celebrated; it was an activity done three times per day. No more. No less. (Page 143)
But what I’ve come to know as true…is that I am everything I’ve ever been. (Page 226)